


Petvengers (Or, how Peter tricks NY heroes into pet adoption)

by Lurafita



Series: Peter is the bamfest bamf who ever bamfed [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Animals, Cats, Cloakie is a Harry Potter fan, Dogs, F/M, Ferrets, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Gen, Iron Dad, M/M, Natasha teaching Peter to lie, Ned makes a PR video for the shelter, Owls, Peter and Wong are texting buddies, Peter is a Little Shit, Peter tricks NY heroes into adopting pets, Peter's creative swearing, Peter's dog, Peter's sweet tooth, Sensei Natasha, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tortoise, dad tony, raccoons - Freeform, son peter, spider son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-04-22 23:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lurafita/pseuds/Lurafita
Summary: Kind of a follow up to 'The wounds we see (and the scars we don't), but only in the way that all stories in the series connect to each other.This is bordering on crack, seriously. It is a lot of fun to write though. I hope you will enjoy it.Peter has decided that New York's heroes should all have (at least one) pet. Because pets are awesome.Now he just has to convince them of it.





	1. Steve

Chapter 1

Steve

 

Edward 'Ned' Leeds loved his best friend. He truly, absolutely, did. Peter was his brother from another mother.

However, that didn't change the fact that sometimes, Peter could be a teeny, tiny, little bit ridiculous.

Because who else would ever get the idea of tricking earths mightiest heroes into each adopting a shelter animal.

-

_**MyfriendscallmeMJ:** Peter, you can't lie to save your life. How do you plan on tricking anyone, much less the Avengers, into taking a pet home? Especially since they already have you._

_**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** Okay, first, rude. I can totally lie when I want to. In fact, I'm a great liar. Like,... Just look at my chatname! If that doesn't scream 'Master of deception', nothing does._

_**Guyinthechair:** Ô_o..._

_**MyfriendscallmeMJ:** Ô_o..._

_**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** And second, I have a fool proof plan._

_**Guyinthechair:** Ô_o..._

_**MyfriendscallmeMJ:** Ô_o..._

_**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** Parts of a fool proof plan... like... 46% of a plan,... that is not at all fool proof... but we can totally pull it off!_

_**Guyinthechair:** Yeah, somehow I do not feel confident about this. At all._

_**MyfriendscallmeMJ:** What do you mean 'we'?_

-

And so it was that Ned found himself, armed with his trusty camcorder, waiting in front of **'A heart has four paws'** shelter for Peter, on a sunny Saturday morning. Really, all Peter had said was to meet him there at exactly 9:30am, and to be ready to film what would become _'a promotional video'._

Ned had absolutely no idea what Peter had planned, but it was either going to be absolutely epic, or completely embarrassing.

A quick look at his phone revealed the time to be 9:27, which left his best friend three minutes before Ned was allowed to officially change Peter's chatname into 'ThetardySpider'. He was already typing in his friends password into the first of many social media platforms, when _(happy)_ barking reached his ears. He looked up to see Hope and Peter racing each other to reach him.

"Not late!"

Peter wheezed out as soon as he came to a stop in front of Ned.

"I totally did not forget to ask Friday to wake me up early today and was absolutely not just woken up 35 minutes ago by Hope licking my face off. Completely on time, that's me. Mr. Punctuality."

He doubled over immediately after, bracing his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.

Ned checked his phone. 9:29. _Donuts!_ Oh well, knowing his best friend, an opportunity for assigning punishing nicknames would present itself once again. So he bent down to give Hope some love, while Peter was finally regaining his lost oxygen.

"Okay! We all set? You got your camera, Ned?"

He held it up for Peter to see.

"What am I even supposed to film with it? And shouldn't you have brought at least _one_ of the people you intend to con into pet acquisition with you, oh _great master of deception?_ "

"Please, you make me sound like a criminal. I'm not going to _'con'_ anyone, just persuade them to do something I want by slightly bending the truth."

Ned gave him a deadpan look.

"Pete, that is the textbook definition of _conning_ someone."

But the brunette waved him off, digging his phone out of his pants.

"Semantics. Now, Steve left for his morning jog at 5, _the freak_ , and since it's Saturday and there is no mission to prepare for, he wanted to make it a full run 'round."

Ned's yaw dropped.

"Are you telling me Captain America is jogging through all of New York?"

Peter nodded distractedly while typing something into his phone.

"And he got up a 5 am to do it. **5 am, Ned!** _Sleep-hating-freak_. Not even Sam and Bucky joined him for something this crazy. I mean, **5 am, Ned!"**

"You know you have gotten up earlier than that. Actually, you have _stayed up_ later than that."

His exclamation was waved away again.

"That was for Spiderman, and lab time with Tony,... and cartoons. You know, important stuff. Not to go _jogging_!"

Peter shuddered for effect.

"Anyway, according to his usual running speed, traffic, roadblocks, calculated detours and approximate number of stops he had to make to hydrate or take a selfie with a fan, he should be in this general area by now."

Apparently having finished with his first task on the phone, Peter then scrolled through his contacts and hit the call button for one _'Star spangled man with a plan'._ He didn't have to wait long for Steve to accept the call.

"Hey Pete, what-"

"STEVE! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! COME TO LEE AVENUE 14! HURRY!" And then Peter promptly hung up.

Ned stared at him open mouthed for three long seconds, then he beamed and proudly patted his friend on the shoulder.

"You just lied to Captain America without stuttering, over-explaining yourself, or dissolving into a puddle of anxiety! _Good for you!_ "

Peter's grin couldn't possibly be wider.

"Thanks! For a moment there I thought I was going to choke, but then I pulled through! Tasha practiced with me for two hours last night."

"The Black Widow knows about your plans?"

Peter nodded.

"Tasha knows everything."

"Does she know about the-"

"Yeah."

"And about the time when-"

"Yeah."

"And what about-"

"She knows that, too."

Ned let out a reverent "Whooow."

Then he thought of something else.

"What if the Captain calls the other Avengers for backup, thinking you are in trouble?"

"I told Karen to inform Friday to ignore any assemble requests made by Steve, right after my phone call with him."

"So that's what you were typing on your phone earlier."

Peter nodded, then suddenly looked down the street in front of them, Hope simultaneously lifted his head from where it had been resting on his paws.

"Get your camera ready, Cap is closing in."

Ned did just that, and forever captured on film as one _(very sweaty)_ Steve Rogers ran full speed to the two of them.

"Peter!"

He didn't take long to reach the two teens, even with an excited Hope jumping up and around him to greet the super soldier.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Are you two okay? Is there a new villain? What's the situation? I called for backup, the others should be here shortly."

Knowing they would not, Peter grabbed for Hope to hold the enthusiastic Pitbull at bay, and waited for Steve to finish with his visual assessment of any possibly sustained injuries. Then he grinned.

"Quick, the one needing your help is inside!"

He grabbed the blonde's arm and unceremoniously pulled him through the shelter doors, a still filming Ned and tail wagging Hope right behind them.

* * *

 

Andrew was just getting some of the forms for new owners in order, when the automatic doors of the entrance opened with a ding, causing him to abandon his task for later.

He did a double take when non other than Captain America, Steve Rogers, in civilian _(and kinda sweat stained)_ clothes was dragged in by a familiar looking teenager. Followed by another teenager holding a camcorder fixed on the american icon, and a familiar looking Pitbull.

Since his brain was obviously not equipped to sort through everything at once, he focused on the issue that was the easiest to resolve.

"Hey! You are that kid that was here with Tony Stark, right?"

Said kid grinned and proceeded to drag _Captain freaking America_ to the front desk.

"Yes! I remember you too! I'm Peter, by the way. I see you did some remodeling with the place."

Andrew smiled and shook the teen's hand.

"Hi Peter, I'm Andrew. And yes, thanks to Mr. Stark's generous donation, we were able to expand quite a bit. Even got some space out back, for the bigger ones to run a little."

"That's great!"

"You aren't here to return your dog, are you?"

"Never! Hope is ohana, and ohana means family."

"Good, good. Say, quick question, kid. Is that man with you Steve Rogers, aka Captain America?"

"He is."

" _Peter_."

The authoritative voice of the living american legend, pulled Peter and Andrew out of their little conversation, and brought their full attention on him. Steve, for his part, after having scanned the buildings lobby for possible threats, or other dangerous things, and valiantly ignoring the camera Peter's friend kept trained on him the whole time, took a deep breath.

_Calm, be calm._

"Peter, why am I here?"

The teen grinned brightly.

"Rescue mission."

_Calm, remain calm._

"And who, exactly, needs to be rescued?" 

The grin got brighter.

"Well, whoever you decide on taking home with you. Though I've always kinda pegged you for a dog person, so maybe we should start with them."

_Calm, calm, calm, you fought in wars, soldier. Keep calm._

"Son, I'm not getting a dog."

The kid shrugged.

"Okay, the cats here are great too! Or maybe you want a bird? Some of these have a pretty long lifespan, you know? We can also look at the smaller animals. They have ferrets, and chinchillas, and rabbits-"

_You fought aliens, and an insane robot, your boyfriend was brainwashed into trying to kill you and one of your best friends is Tony Stark! If you can live through all that, you can get through this insanity too._

"-though I really think you should get a dog. It just fits, you know?"

_Calm, calm._

"Peter, I am not getting a dog!"

 

-

 

"So, this is Colonel. He is a mixed breed of unknown origins, though the shelter worker said that there is definitely some German Shepard in there."

Steve was met with the non blinking eyes of his fellow Avengers and friends, and their assorted families, who were for once all in attendance in the tower's common floor living room. 

The Barton kids _(minus Nathaniel, who was busy spreading mashed potatoes everywhere that wasn't his mouth, and especially his father at the moment)_ and Peter were playing with the two dogs. 

Then Clint _(who really didn't look at all intimidating with a toddler on his lap and mashed potatoes all over his face)_ was staring imploringly at his wife,  
Laura skillfully ignored her husband,  
Natasha went over to Peter to congratulate him on his successful manipulation of another human being,  
Sam groaned about not scooping up any poop,  
Bucky joined the kids and dogs on the floor,  
Pepper shook her head,  
May refilled both her, Laura's and Pepper's wine glasses,  
Bruce hid a smile in his book,  
and Tony almost fell off the couch, he was laughing so hard.

"Your dog has a higher military rank than you!"

 

 

* * *

 

Next up: Bucky and Sam :-)

 

 

 


	2. Bucky & Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With pics!!!
> 
> Did you know that Chris Evans actually adopted a shelter dog, during a movie he was filming that used dogs from a real shelter, that were up for adoption?  
> It doesn't exactly fit with the comment from last chapter, where Steve told the others that there was a german shepard in the mix of Colonels breed. Buuuuut, we will overlook this little tidbit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember if it has been in any way shown in the movies, but please pretend that Bucky can easily detach and reattach his arm.
> 
> *Remember that Danger Room concept, that I stole from the X-Men and hinted at in the first story in the series, where Peter kicks both Steve and Clint's butts in training? :-)
> 
> Also, I still refer to the tower as Stark tower. I don't know why I don't want to change it to Avengers tower. I just kinda like it like that.

May I introduce you to Colonel: (If for some reason the pictures don't show, just google "Chris Evans dog".)

        

 

Here is a great gif with the two of them: <https://images.hellogiggles.com/uploads/2016/08/15091224/evans.gif>

 

* * *

 

And we of course all know Peter's Hope: (If for some reason the pictures don't show just google "Tom Holland dog".)

  

* * *

 

Not gonna spoil the new pets. They will be at the end of the chapter!

* * *

 

** Bucky & Sam **

 

When Peter had invited her over to Stark tower, so that she could meet Cap's new dog Colonel, and help him brainstorm for the next step of his mission ( _Ned had also been invited, but had had to decline due to a surprise weekend family trip)_ , Michelle certainly hadn't expected that they would end up sitting cross-legged and drinking hot chocolate on Natasha Romanoff's bed. Said redhead, also known as Black Widow, was sat across from them in her desk chair, sipping on her own cup of the chocolaty beverage.

Her and Michelle had chosen a simple version of the drink; dark chocolate, some milk, a pinch of cinnamon. Nothing fancy and not too sweet. Whereas Peter had doctored his cup with extra sugar, mini marshmallows, whipped cream, vanilla extract, and sprinkles. Michelle was pretty sure that that monstrosity of a drink would cause diabetes in anyone else but Peter. Looking at it alone made her teeth ache.

Hope, Peter's most loyal companion, was for once not curled up, around, or all over his owner, and had instead laid his head on Natasha's thigh, while the former Russian spy was absently scratching his scalp.

"The key to manipulating others is to know what makes them tick."

The Black Widow had found the two teens in the common floor's living room _(because even though everyone living in the Stark tower had their own floor, they all somehow gravitated to this one)_ , discussing various ideas on how to get Bucky and Sam into the animal shelter.   
She had lightly scolded them for talking about a mission in such an open and unsecured place, ordered them into the adjoining kitchen for hot chocolate acquisition, and then corralled them _(plus pitbull)_ down to her own floor and into her bedroom. Satisfied with their new location, Natasha then started to give the teen's a lesson in 'Spy Work 101'.

Peter was devotedly writing everything down, though Michelle had no idea where he had procured the notebook and pen from.

"Every person has a different emotional and psychological makeup and is, therefore, susceptible to different tactics."

She took a sip from her drink. Peter specifically made a note of that.

"So, before you start with your scheme, take your time to study your target. Learn to read them and see the best approach for getting them to bend to your needs."

Peter stopped scribbling for a moment, and looked at the redhead with a frown on his face.

"Couldn't I just do what I did with Steve?"

Natasha raised a single eyebrow.

"Have you heard about the boy who cried wolf?"

Peter nodded insightful.

"Good point."

And then he wrote that down, too.

Since the chance to learn from probably the best spy/secret operative/assassin didn't come by often, Michelle decided to make the most of it. 

"Do you have any tips on how to best observe our targets?"

Natasha smirked.

 

* * *

 

  
The first time that MJ and Peter observed the two men, Sam and Bucky were running through an elaborate obstacle course in the Danger Room*.

To be on a more even playing field, Bucky had taken off his vibranium arm and Sam his wings. 

"You know, no one will judge you if you just give up. I mean, I will judge you... As will everyone else. But the option is there."

"Please. I'm just trying not to embarrass you too much. I could have already finished if I wanted to."

"You wanna put your money where your fucking mouth is?"

"You fucking asked for it!"

Peter and MJ made extensive notes while the other two sped up.

 

-

 

The next time that found the duo alone, they had somehow been ganged up on by the other Avengers into cooking for every one. 

"Don't add pepper to that, it's gonna be too hot."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot that people your age have trouble handling spicy food. Want me to get out some prune juice for you? Should I puree your steak?"

"Maybe I should make some extra spinach for you, chances are you will finally put on some muscle, then. How about a glass of milk to strengthen your bones?"

"How about you shut up and give me a hand with peeling the potatoes?"

Since a picture said more than a thousand words, MJ took great care to draw the exact look on Sam Wilson's face when a detached metal arm landed right beside him.

 

-

  
The third time saw Bucky and Sam playing Mario Kart.

"I'm not at all surprised you chose the dinosaur. Feeling a special kinship with the fossil?"

"No more than you do with Princess Peach. What with you both being on your period."

It seemed that neither man was even out to win the race, but far more invested in hitting the other's character with an item, or pushing them off the track. When they finally crossed the finish line _(after many, many swearwords; it was a good thing that Laura and Clint had taken their kids to visit Laura's parents)_ , the two men sat back on the couch and took a long sip from their beer bottles. 

Then they simultaneously turned their heads to the love seat beside the couch. The love seat that was currently occupied by one Spiderkid and one Spiderkid's friend who 'was a girl but not his girlfriend'. Who both had notebooks in their laps and pens in their hands and were staring at the men.  
Rather creepily.

The two pairs held eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

"Did you two want to play?"

The teens shook their heads.

"You need help with... homework or something?"

Peter smiled.

"Nope, we are good."

The girl waved her hand at the pair.

"Carry on."

  
-

  
It was 1:45 am at night when Michelle was roused from her sleep by her buzzing phone. She opened up the screen to see that she had gotten a text message from Peter.

 **DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _Calling in mission report. I'm not getting any new information. Awaiting orders._

 **MyfriendscallmeMJ:** _... Peter, are you currently sticking to Sergeant Barnes ceiling and watching him in his sleep?_

 **DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _Of course not! Ever since Bucky and Steve started dating, they moved in together on Cap's floor. Not trying to get an eye full of that! What kind of creepy stalker do you take me for?!_  
**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _I'm observing Sam._  
**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _While sticking on his ceiling._  
**DefinietlynotSpiderman:** _In the dark._  
**DefinietlynotSpiderman:** _While he is sleeping._  
**DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _It's super boring._

 **MyfriendscallmeMJ:** _Peter, go to bed._

 **DefinitelynotSpiderman:** _Roger that._

  
_-_

  
After another week of close observation _(to which the men had by that time caught on and were slightly freaked out by)_ , Peter and MJ presented their findings to Natasha.

"They are like the worlds best frenemies."

Peter had once again made himself a cup full of 'Death by sugar', while Michelle and Natasha were enjoying some very nice tea, that Peter had 'borrowed' from Dr. Strange. _  
(It was part of the training program Natasha had thought up for him to work on his stealth abilities. He had also 'borrowed' 15 single socks from Tony, Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, two pairs of Sam's sunglasses, and just an hour ago, Steve's running shoes. He had so far not been able to slip under the guard of the Winter Solider, and flat out refused to 'borrow' anything from Bruce. Dr. Banner was the god of science and shall not be used for training exercises.)_

Natasha, who was at the moment wrapped up in Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, motioned for Michelle to elaborate on Peter's statement.

"They don't miss an opportunity to poke fun at, or insult the other, but even though it may seem as such at first glance, they are never actually hurtful to each other. Mr. Wilson holds regular counseling sessions with Sergeant Barnes, which we respectfully did not intrude on, but are likely about his fighting in a war and other trauma. And Sergeant Barnes helps out with Mr. Wilson's training and helps him to figure out new strategies and maneuvers for aerial combat."

Hope hadn't joined the teens in Natasha's room this time around, as he and Colonel were currently playing with Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel on the Barton's floor, under the watchful eyes of their parents _(though Clint was most likely just as excited about having the dogs for some playtime as his kids were. He was fooling no one.)_

"Sam has a bit of an inferiority complex, what with both his best friends being enhanced super soldiers, and is constantly trying it one-up Bucky."

Peter continued.

"And Bucky still sometimes struggles with understanding how the present, or in his view, the future and it's course of conduct works. He wants to learn to adapt on his own terms, and doesn't like having these things explained to him like he wouldn't get it otherwise."

MJ finished their report.

"They are both headstrong and independent. They like to help others, but don't like to be in a position where they themselves need help. They are very alike in that. Which leads to everything pretty much turning into a competition between them."

Natasha smiled proudly at them. 

"Very good."

They smiled back.

"Thank you, Sensei."

Cue the raised eyebrow.

"Sensei?"

Peter shyly rubbed the back of his head. 

"Well, you are teaching us some of the tools of your trade. Which makes you the Obi Wan to our Skywalker. But MJ voted against calling you Master, since that title caters to a patriarchal system. But the female form 'Mistress' sounded a bit too much 'Dominatrix'. So we settled on the more respectful Japanese term of Sensei. But we will totally stop calling you that if you don't like it, Tasha."

He nervously bit his lip as they waited for Natasha's verdict, and even MJ subtly shifted a little in her seat. 

"No, I like it. Feel free to use it as much as you like. So now, my prodigious students, after having studied your targets, what have you come up with?"

Her smile widened more and more as the teens told her of their plan.

* * *

Stage 1: Divide

  
Michelle found Sam in the common floor's kitchen, seemingly enjoying a cup of coffee. Peter had used the terrible combined powers of his and Hope's puppy eyes, to convince Sergeant Barnes that he wanted to go get ice cream with the teen and dog, about fifteen minutes ago. Which led into the next part of their plan.

Stage 2: Conquer

  
She casually strolled up to the table and sat down across from the infamous Falcon. He gave her a welcoming nod.

"Hey there, Michelle. You didn't want to go with the others to get ice cream?"

"Have you ever seen the absurdly sweet things Parker orders? I didn't feel like getting second hand diabetes today."

He snorted.

"Tell me about it. I swear I could feel my teeth starting to rot, the last time he made himself a snack. And by snack, I mean a deep fried mars bar, covered in whipped cream and wrapped in a chocolate chip pancake."

He shuddered at the memory. Then Michelle went in for the kill.

_-Hook.-_

"And also, I don't need to listen to Sergeant Barnes rant about your inability to let yourself appear emotionally open or vulnerable."

The man almost chocked on his coffee.

"I'm sorry, what?"

With a casual shrug and a dismissive hand gesture, the girl elaborated.

"I mean, it's not a big deal or anything. We were talking about Hope and Colonel the other day, and how Peter tricked Captain Rogers. Peter thought he should do it again, you know, with someone else from the team. That loser is absolutely certain that everyone _needs_ a pet because, and I quote 'Animals just make everything better, MJ.'."

The statement was followed by her trademark eye roll.

"Well, in the kid's defense, there are quite a few studies about the mental and psychological benefits a close relationship with a pet can have on a person. Especially those dealing with trauma. Many of the veterans I counsel have a therapeutic companion, or emotional support animal, as they are more commonly called."

Sam couldn't help but inject, but quickly got back to the matter at hand.

"What's that about Barnes spouting bullshit, though?"

_-Line.-_

The teen across from him shrugged her shoulders.

"He simply stated that something like this wouldn't work on you. Since Peter's ploy heavily depended on the Captain being a 'pushover with a hero complex', and therefore unable to turn away from a 'little critter in need of love and affection'. _You_ , on the other hand, were 'too insecure about your manliness, and wouldn't allow yourself to be seen as someone doting on an animal'. His words."

The coffee cup was set down harshly on the table, as Sam pushed himself upwards.

_-And sinker.-_

"He did, did he." He growled. "Insecure about my manliness, my ass. I'm gonna show that bastard... Say, do you know which shelter Pete got the dogs from?"

Michelle easily suppressed a victorious smirk, and quickly typed out the signal message on her phone for Ned to be ready with his camcorder.

"I will show you the way."  
  
He nodded in acceptance.  
  
"Great. If we come across a shop selling sunglasses on the way there, remind me to get a pair. I seem to keep misplacing mine."

* * *

  
They had taken Hope to the park first, and thrown around a Frisbee for the dog to chase after and catch. Natasha had told Peter to spend about thirty to forty minutes in the park, and after that approximately the same amount of time at the ice cream cafe, that was conveniently located halfway between the park and the shelter. _(What was even better, was that this particular cafe had ice cream specifically made for dogs. So he had ordered Hope three big scoops of the dogs favorite flavor.)_

While Hope was happily licking up his cold treat, and Peter was demolishing his triple banana split with extra toppings of _everything_ , Bucky serenely drunk from his glass of frappuccino. The tranquility of the moment was only disrupted by the vibrating buzz of Peter's mobile phone, which he quickly took out of his pants pocket.

 **MyfriendscallmeMJ** : _The Falcon and his new companion have left the building. Ned is awaiting your arrival. Initiate phase 'Lonely Winter' now._

 _-Alright Parker-_ , he gave himself a mental pep talk, - _your turn. Tasha and MJ have coached you through your lines all yesterday evening, you totally got this.-_

"So," _-maybe put a little less squeak into your voice!-_ "Hrm, I mean, so... You know, I think Sam is wrong."

Bucky grinned at him.

"Wilson is wrong about a lot of things. But what in particular are you referring to?"

_-Get it together, Spiderman! You can totally do this! Look him in the eye and lie right to his face!-_

Peter fixed his stare resolutely on the coffee table and spun his spoon around his now empty bowl.

_-Coward!-_

"Just something he said. Me and MJ were talking the other day, you know, about how great it would be if the others on the team would maybe adopt an animal from the shelter, too. I mean, the tower is more than big enough for it, and you can't deny that Steve has been a lot more relaxed ever since he got Colonel. You too, actually."

Bucky nodded to that. He had always had a soft spot for dogs, and really anything with big eyes and soft fur that needed his protection. He was always happy to volunteer taking both Colonel and Hope out for a walk, if Steve or Peter were busy. Just like this morning when he went jogging with Colonel, because his boyfriend refused to leave before he found his running shoes. _(He hadn't found them. Bucky could have told him that the kid had them, but he was no snitch. Also, he knew very well that this was part of Natasha's stealth training, and since Peter never took things that held emotional value to their owners, Bucky was very satisfied with silently cheering the kid on.)_

"Sam overheard us and said that you probably wouldn't go for it."

The Winter Soldiers eyes narrowed slightly.

"Oh?"

_-Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic! Lie your heart out you french frying licorice!_

"Yeah, like, you know, he was just like 'Nah, that relic wouldn't even know how to handle all the paperwork that comes with adopting a pet. Bet they didn't have that back in 1920. Probably just ran out on the street and took home the first thing that let itself be cuddled.' Well, something along those lines, I don't remember his exact wording (- _because he never said that, you lying liar who lies!- )_ and he said that you would be way too proud to ask for someone to explain it to you and stuff..."

He risked glancing up from the table to gauge Bucky's reaction, and holy mother of science! If the stormy look on the man's face said anything, he had totally bought Peter's bullshit! _Whoohoo! Good work, Spidey!_

Feeling emboldened by this, he tried his best to adopt a casual, earnest posture.

"But, I don't think Sam is right. I mean, you know how to file your taxes and stuff, and I'm pretty sure that more than half the people in New York don't know how to do that correctly. Tony always just lets Pepper handle them. And besides, you are totally awesome with Hope and Colonel, and I don't think you would let something like _pride_ stand in your way if you wanted to adopt a pet."

Another quick glance at the Sergeant revealed a mix of fondness, contemplation, and determination.

"You know what, kid? How about we make a little detour to that shelter of yours and show Sam how very, stupidly wrong he is?"

* * *

  
Ned had opted out of accompanying the now foursome back to the tower, as he wanted to save the new video he had made to the file he had on his computer at home. Bucky had either not cared about Peter's friend filming him, while he went through the process of adopting an animal, or hadn't realized that he had been the sole focus of the camera.

When they entered the common floor, Hope tiredly trotting over to where Colonel had laid himself down beside the love seat, they were greeted by the sight of Steve, Sam, Michelle, Natasha and Pepper readying the room for a movie night.

Peter quickly ran over to Pepper and took two of the three huge bowls of chips she was trying to balance.

"Thank you, sweetie."

"No problem. Where are the others?"

Steve answered, setting down two huge jugs of iced fruit tea on the table.

"Clint and Laura are making sure that Cooper and Lila have finished their homework before we start with the movie. Bruce wanted to go over the latest results of some kind of experiment he was running one more time, but promised to be here in half an hour at the latest. May had to fill in for a colleague, and said to tell you to eat something healthy before you stuffed yourself with junk food. Speaking of which, here."

Steve had somehow procured a plate with steamed vegetables and some rice out of nowhere, and was shoving it into Peter's hands.

The younger looked at the food suspiciously.

"Did Aunt May make this before she left?"

Steve smirked.

"No. She tried her hand on a casserole... the smell was a little... pungent, to put it mildly. And Colonel kinda buried it in the flower field on the terrace. So I whipped this up for you."

Then he held out a fork for Peter to take, while the teen smiled in relief.

"Thanks Cap!"

He quickly sat down next to MJ and Natasha and began to eat.

"Where's dad?"

Pepper laughed lightly.

"He is busy disassembling the dryer. Said the machine keeps eating his left socks. How he figures they are his left ones is beyond me, though."

Natasha helpfully slapped Peter on his back, as he valiantly tried to not choke on his food.

Sam and Bucky meanwhile, had kind of squared up against each other, both standing opposite the other, with about three feet between them, and fixing the other with a snarky, triumphant kind of expression.

Sam broke the silence first.

"So, finally made it back, did you? Did the kid and the dog have to slow down for old man Barnes?"

"We took the scenic route, something you wouldn't know about, having so little stamina."

Then, as if they had planned it, Sam whistled sharply at the same time that Bucky stuck his hand in his hoodie pocket.

The human hand came out holding a little raccoon securely in its grasp.

   

"This is Arthur. He can't be returned to the wild, because one of his hind legs got stuck in a trap and they had to amputate it. And just so you know, I had no problems at all filling out his adoption forms."

At the same time a white cockatoo came flying into the room and landed on Sam's shoulder.

"This is Eames. He used to belong to a very ill mannered Londoner, and randomly spouts British swearwords, which is why no one wanted to adopt him. We bonded over calling you a bloody bastard." The "Bloody Bastard" was directly repeated by Eames. Sam smiled at his bird. "See? And for your information, I have no trouble at all with showing my emotional side."

The two stared at each other for a moment, processing what had been said.

"Why would I want to know that you filled out his papers by yourself?"

"Why would I care that you are not afraid to show your feelings?"

A stretch of silence followed, as everyone in the room was now staring at the two men and their new pets. Then, again creepily in sync, both men turned their gazes to the couch where two teenagers and one redheaded super spy were sitting.

"Pete..."

"Michelle..."

Natasha helpfully took hold of Peter's plate as the two teens stood up from the couch, quickly bowed to her, "Thank you, Sensei.", and then ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were behind them.

 

* * *

* * *

 

tbc.

Hope you liked this chapter! And the pictures! You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a picture of a male hand holding up a small raccoon without the person attached to the hand being in the picture as well. Finding one where a cockatoo sat on a shoulder, without the human the shoulder belongs to also being in the pic, was simply impossible. 

I originally wanted to give Bucky a Newfoundland dog, as those are a breed that often end up in shelters, because people underestimate how big they get, and then decide that they can't handle their grown up size. But then I saw this fanart on pinterest:

 

And then I HAD to give Bucky a raccoon. 

Also, yes, Tony is going to build Arthur the raccoon a new leg. 

I'm not sure who should go next, either Bruce or Dr. Strange.

Clint needs to come later, for reasons.

Thank you everyone for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know, before anyone asks, Wanda and Vision will probably not make much of an appearance in the series.  
> I don't fully understand how their powers work and don't know how to write them as characters. 
> 
> Also, I personally don't actually think that raccoons should be held as pets, by anyone other than a person with extensive knowledge of them, and especially not in a household with small kids. BUT this is fanfiction! And we don't need to adhere to the rules of reality!!! :-)


	3. Dr Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :-)  
> Guess now what kind of animal Stephen gets, and see if you guessed right later in the chapter!  
> Cookies for everyone who knows who Detective Davis is. :-)
> 
> To stave off any confusion that might come, MJ's parents are divorced, and Michelle has no blood-related siblings.  
> *Insert name here* has no blood-related siblings, and his mother died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the pet introduced in this chapter, please remember that this is a fanfic. I therefore take some liberties with the laws on which animals can and can not be held as pets.

Dr Strange

 

 

America may be the land of the free, but it was sadly not the land of good tea. Not if you asked one Dr. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts.

He could have sworn he still had a stash of the fine leaves he had brought back from his last visit to Kathmandu, but he hadn't been able to find it anywhere. His quest to find a vendor that sold decent tea, had taken him almost all the way to the ends of Manhattan, but at least he now had something to tide him over with, until the next time he was due to visit the monastery. If it weren't for the almost unbearable summer heat outside, the trip might not have been so bad.

Since he was in his civilian clothes, he headed for the nearest alley to open a portal to the Sanctum. No need to draw attention to himself, after all. He wasn't Stark.

He had barely stepped foot into his home, when he heard the voice of the boy, Peter, coming from the sitting room.

"-which is why MJ is currently getting ready for a 'get to know you' dinner with her possible new stepfather and brother. Ned and I researched the guy beforehand, of course, but he checked out. He is a police detective with the Brooklyn devision, and so far we haven't found anything that would point at him being dirty or the likes. No shady connections to the Mob, no underhanded courtroom deals, no crooks or witnesses that vanished under suspicious circumstances while connected to any of his cases, and no secret Swiss bank accounts."

 

Stephen could only shake his head at what he heard, even as a fond, little smile stole itself across his lips. Kid was watching too much TV. It seemed Wong shared this perspective, as he could hear the other man next.

"While your devotion to assure your friends safety is admirable, don't you think that hacking into the police stations database is taking things a little far?"

How Wong could say something like this, and still sound completely relaxed, was a mystery to Strange. He himself was contemplating to inform Stark of his ward's latest shenanigans, so that the man could perform some damage control.

"One can never be too certain. But don't worry, we made up for the hacking by strengthening the departments firewall. Their data was almost as easy to get to as the hospitals. I actually think I met Detective Davis as Spiderman once, and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. I'm not actually too worried, but I will be keeping an eye on things."

By then Stephen had made his way to the room, where Peter and Wong were talking, both had a glass filled with cold water before them on the table, while the Cloak of Levitation had draped itself beside the teenager on the couch, apparently listening in on the conversation as well.

"As long as you don't commit any more felonies while 'keeping an eye on things', _Spiderman_ , that's perfectly alright."

The boy immediately grinned at him.

"What's up, Doc?"

Stephen sighed. Sometimes he really despised Bugs Bunny. Wong nodded at him in greeting and the Cloak fluttered one of it's corners, which was it's way of waving hello.

He continued on to the connecting kitchen, and started boiling the water in his teapot.

"What brings you here, Peter? And how come your canine companion isn't with you?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Peter pout.

"It's too hot for Hope. We went for a walk yesterday morning, and he burned his paws on the asphalt. Colonel, too. Tony sectioned off a few yards behind the tower, and had a company deliver some soil and fast growing grass seeds. And pavilions for some shadow. So any outside activities for the animals are restricted to the new backyard, until this heatwave passes. But it's just as well, because Arthur is still getting used to his new leg Dad and Bruce built him, and he still needs to take things slow. And Eames can more easily stretch his wings there, without bumping into anything and having to maneuver around walls and stuff."

Stephen, thanks to Wong, knew all about the little arachnids efforts to turn Stark tower into a zoo, and could deduce that Colonel, who had also burned his _paws_ , was one of the pets that Peter had coerced someone into adopting. 'Eames', likewise, must be an avian type of animal that now belonged to one of the Avengers. But he had no idea who or what 'Arthur' could be.

"Arthur? Did the Avengers get a new member?"

To his surprise, Wong answered the question.

"Arthur is Sergeant Barnes adopted, young raccoon, who lost his hind leg to a hunter trap. He is very cute. Peter sent me pictures."

Said teen scowled at the Sorcerer Supreme.

"Which you would have gotten, too, if you finally accepted my friends request on Whatsapp."

Thankfully that's when the kettle let out a shrill whistle, and Stephen could finally start brewing himself a cup. He would not be able to get through what was to follow, without a nice cup of tea.

"Peter, you have my number for emergencies and other important things, not to spam my phone with pictures of every cute, little critter you come across. I remember the day you adopted Hope. Wong's phone vibrated so much with received messages from you, it fell off the table. Also, I don't have Whatsapp."

Completely ignoring everything else the man had said, Peter zeroed in on that last statement.

"What about twitter?"

"No."

"Instagram?"

"No."

"Tumblr?"

"I don't even know what that is."

"You gotta have Facebook at least! Even Steve has a Facebook page, and he uses a _flip-phone_!"

"Definitely not."

Peter, seemingly beyond shocked, turned to the older monk beside him.

"How do you live with him?"

Wong sighed, shook his head, and took a sip of his water.

"'Tis the cross I must bear."

Thank the Ancient One that his tea was done! He took a long drink, disregarding the scalding temperature, and sighed in relief. Better.

"Why don't we get back to my first question, shall we? What brings you here, Peter? Do the Avengers need assistance?"

Peter grinned and dove for his backpack.

"Nope! I just brought over the next part of the Harry Potter movies for Cloakie!"

He quickly yanked the movie disk out of his backpack and held it aloft triumphantly. And then the Cloak of Levitation, an ancient, magical, powerful artifact, that was revered by many, fluttered in absolute excitement and tackled the teenager in a hug, while also grabbing the movie.

Peter laughed, Wong smiled, and Stephen resisted the urge to burrow his head in his hands, and instead took another sip of his tea.

After he had managed to untangle himself from Cloakie, Peter downed the rest of his water, thanked Wong for the beverage, and stood up.

"Alright! I should be on my way now."

"Do you want me to open a portal into the tower?" Stephen offered, remembering the sweltering heat outside. Peter shook his head.

"Thanks, but I wanted to fit in a little patrol before going back. Though I don't expect a lot to be going on, with the temperatures outside. Thank God the suit has air conditioning. Bye Doc, bye Wong, bye Cloakie!"

Two "Bye Peter"'s and a full body flutter from the Cloak, and the young superhero was gone. With the closing of the front door, Strange sat down on one of the couches and relaxed. He liked Peter a lot, but the boy could be a bit taxing at times. As he drank his tea and watched the Cloak fly off in search of his laptop to watch it's new Harry Potter movie, he never noticed the deeply amused, knowing and conspiratorial little grin Wong was wearing.

* * *

"So, MJ said the dinner went really well. She likes the guy, said she had a good feeling about him."

Ned told Bethany, the shelter worker who had been there when Michelle and Peter had guided Sam and Bucky into pet adoption. Peter had boosted himself up on the reception counter, and was carefully stroking the soft feathers of the big snow owl perched on his arm. While Bethany wouldn't normally allow a visitor to have one of the animals in the open like this, and in the buildings lobby to boot, she had made an exception for Peter. Not only was the boy extraordinarily good with handling the animals, he had also needed a little pick-me-up, seeing as the persisting hot weather had not allowed for his dog to accompany him to the shelter.

Peter added his own little tid-bits.

"The son had apparently been a bit quiet, but she said he seemed very sweet."

Bethany nodded.

"Well, I believe anyone would feel a little awkward, meeting their father's new girlfriend, and girlfriend's daughter. How old did you say the boy was?"

Since Peter was very busy smiling over the cute faces the owl was making as he pet it, Ned answered the question.

"11. Though MJ did get him to talk a bit about hobbies and stuff. She said he has a real interest in art, especially graffiti painting."

Peter chimed in then.

"Which means he and MJ will have plenty to bond over. Hopefully she doesn't make him take up her 'painting people in distress' thing. Otherwise my frowning face will likely be the first of many, to one day appear on walls all over the city."

Ned paled visibly.

"Dude, that's horrifying."

Bethany laughed softly.

"Now, now boys. You shouldn't fret about things like that. My wife always says that artists carry old souls. Anything they draw, is worth drawing. Even a frowning face."

She winked at Peter. Bethany was totally cool. She was 58 years old and had been together with her wife since they were both 20. When America finally lifted the ban on gay marriage, they had been one of the first same-sex couples to tie the knot in 2015. Peter opened his mouth to reply, when his ears picked up the distant _(though rapidly closing in)_ sounds of screaming and cursing. He grinned.

"Ned, get your camera ready. Operation: Harry Potter, is about to begin."

The other boy obediently pointed his camera towards the entrance, and before Bethany could ask what the boys were talking about, she heard a male voice screaming at someone or something to: "Stop it, goddammit! You insufferable piece of magical cloth! If you don't let me down this instance-"

And then suddenly the doors burst open and what looked to be a man, swaddled in... a red cape?.. came literally _flying_ in.

Peter jumped from the counter _(carefully though, so as not to unsettle the owl still perched on his arm)_ , and took a few steps forward.

"Cloakie, you made it!"

Then the cape seemingly unraveled itself from the man _(giving the poor guy quite the spin in the process)_ , and came floating over to the teen and owl.

While Bethany was still trying to cope with the fact that there was an apparently living article of clothing, hovering in front of Peter and seemingly ogling the owl _(which ogled back just as much)_ , the man the cape had dragged into the shelter _(and boy, that was definitely a line of thought she never expected to have)_ was slowly getting his bearings again. Then he pinned a very pointed gaze at the two teenagers, and made a notable effort to keep his voice calm.

"Peter. Ned. Would it be correct for me to assume, that you are to blame for my unwilling journey through the streets of Manhattan?"

As Ned tried to shrink back behind his camera _(that he still kept resolutely focused on the sorcerer)_ , Peter just grinned brightly at the man.

"Absolutely. Very astute of you. Guess that's why you are the Sorcerer Supreme."

_(Oh, so that was that magical superhero that her wife had told her about. Really, her love was such a fangirl where New York's hero community was concerned. Well, at least that entrance made sense now.)_

The man, _(Dr. Strange, if Bethany remembered correctly)_ , narrowed his eyes at the teen.

"And for what possible reason, do you require my presence?"

Cloakie had extended one of it's corners to lightly pet the white owl on the head. The owl seemed to like it.

"We need a designated adult to sign the adoption papers for Hedwig. She is a 9 year old snow owl. Her owner was a huge Harry Potter fan, which is why he named her Hedwig. He sadly died in an accident not too long ago, and his remaining family didn't have the kind of space to take Hedwig in."

The eyes narrowed further.

"If you want to adopt another pet, then get your aunt or Stark to sign the forms."

Peter shook his head.

"But Hedwig isn't for me."

Bethany looked on intrigued as suspicion formed in the sorcerer's eyes.

"Peter, I'm not getting a pet."

The teen rolled his eyes.

"I know. Hedwig isn't for you, either. She is for Cloakie!"

As if to underline his point, he lifted the arm with the owl a bit, drawing all eyes to the way the Cloak of Levitation cooed _(could a cloak coo?)_ at Hedwig.

The look on the doctor's face right then, was one that Bethany had seen many times on her sister in law, when she had to explain to her 4 year old daughter why she only got one birthday every year.

"Kid, the Cloak of Levitation may be a sentient being with it's own will, but it cannot adopt an animal."

Peter gave the man the most deadpan look that Bethany had ever seen him make.

"I. Know. Which is why we need _you_ to sign the paperwork. Didn't I say that? I thought I said that."

He looked questioningly at Cloakie, who nodded in agreement, and then went right back to petting the owl.

Stephen decided not to suffer any more of this lunacy, and waved his hands to open a portal to the Sanctum. Before he was able to fully step through, however, the Cloak had settled around his shoulders and dragged him back into the shelter's lobby. He directed his stern gaze at the Cloak.

"I don't care how much you love Harry Potter, you will not keep an owl in the Sanctum."

The Cloak folded both of it's lower ends together, in an imitation of a human folding their arms over their chest. Stephen pointed a finger right at it.

"Don't give me that look. We are not taking that owl home, and that is final."

Hedwig, _(with a little whispered encouragement from Peter)_ , took matters into her own hands _(claws? Wings?)_ and gave the teen an affectionate headbutt, before flying off his arm and right through the still open portal, into the Sanctum. While Stephen was still trying to process this fully, his magical cloak fluttered in excitement and dove right after it's owl. The portal closed right behind them. Stephen stared.

Before he had the chance to chase after his wayward magical artifact, Peter was suddenly before him, shoving a bunch of papers and a pen into his chest.

"Great, doc! I knew you would come around, though there was really no need to get Hedwig to your home in such a rush! Now, let's just quickly take care of the formalities. You wouldn't want Bethany to think that you were kidnapping her animals, right?"

The wide, brown eyes looked meaningfully first at him, then at the older woman behind the counter, then at a still filming Ned.

Master of the mystic arts, Sorcerer Supreme, protector of the magical realms, Doctor Stephen Strange, let out a long suffering sigh, and grabbed for the adoption forms.

* * *

 

When roughly twenty minutes later, a portal opened up in the sitting room of the Sanctum Sanctorum, through which stepped a thoroughly annoyed Stephen, Wong was already prepared with a cup of steaming tea.

"The Cloak and Hedwig are in the upper level, playing a game of tag." He quickly handed the cup over, completely ignoring the calculating eyes his friend was bestowing him with. "I have already placed different perches for our new roommate all over the house. The special bird feed is in the kitchen."

Then the older monk calmly sat down in his armchair, and resumed reading the thick tome of incantations before him.

"You were in on this, weren't you?"

Wong casually turned a page.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

Stephen swore loudly, took a sip of his tea, and vowed to find a way to get revenge.

* * *

* * *

tbc.

Next up, the Hulk and Bruce :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many websites state that it is illegal to own an owl as a pet, but they are only partially correct. People can own various owls in the UK, but in the United States, you cannot own a snowy owl—or any other native owl—as a pet. They are federally protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.
> 
> BUT, this is fiction, AND WE DON'T HAVE TO ADHERE TO THE RULES OF REALITY!!! :-) :-) :-)


	4. Bruce and Hulk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :-)  
> ;-)  
> Once again, thank everyone for the interest in this fic, as well as the many kudos and comments! Your support means a lot!  
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well!

Bruce/Hulk

 

 

If anyone were ever to ask Peter, what it had been like the very first time he met Dr. Bruce Banner face to face, he would tell them that he was the embodiment of sophisticated professionalism, and not at all embarrassing.

If they were to ask anyone else that had been present at the time, however, they would tell a quite different story.

 

_\- (about 2 years ago) -  
_

 

“I'm really not sure about this, Tony.”

Bruce said, as he was led through the halls of the tower's common floor, by the far too excited engineer.

Tony just grinned.

“Relax, Brucie Bear. I'm telling you, you are going to love the kid. Fair warning though, he can talk. Like, boy, can he talk.  
If he starts rambling, don't try to get a word in edgewise, just let him get it all out. He will run out of oxygen at some point, and that's when you seize the opportunity to get the conversation back on track. Because, _believe me_ , Pete will somehow manage to totally derail the topic.  
Like yesterday, when he came over after school, he started out telling me about his and his friend Ted's AP chemistry project, and suddenly we are in a deep, philosophical discussion about the representation of real life issues in children's cartoons.  
By the way, you should absolutely watch more cartoons in your free time. Some are surprisingly deep. Did you know that _Sailor Moon_ was way ahead of the curve on LGBTQ relationships? And considering the time period in which it first aired, that's saying a lot. And _Captain Planet_ was actually taking on AIDS hysteria in 1992. Not to mention the fact that in _Steven Universe_ , child heroes have to deal with trauma, instead of things just getting swept under the table. Really, this stuff is more educational than you might think.”

Bruce side eyed his friend.

“So the kid goes off on a tangent suddenly and just keeps going, huh? Completely disregarding the topic you were just talking about right before, huh? Wonder where he gets this from. This sounds in no way familiar. At all.”

Tony either didn't catch the sarcasm, or ignored it, and nodded.

“Beats me. Can't be his aunt, that woman is scarily on point. She never let's you forget, or talk your way around anything. She is just like Pepper in that regard. I think its the Italian blood in May.”

Before the billionaire had the chance to get lost in that particular line of thought, Bruce cut in.

“Look, Tony, I'm not worried about whether or not I will like Peter. From all the _proud dad_ raving you have been doing since I got back, I already know that he is a great kid.”

_(“Excuse you! I do not rave! Least of all **proud dad** like!”)_

“I'm far more concerned about the kind of impact standing in a room with the man who turns into a giant, green rage monster at the drop of a hat, will have on a 15 year old. I'm really not looking forward to watching the kid run away in a panic.”

Tony scoffed.

“Oh please. If you turned Hulk at 'the drop of a hat', my tower would have crumbled years ago. Also, the kid is a superhero. He fought a maniac with alien weapons and a metallic bird suit. I'm gonna eat my 1.500,00 $ Italian leather shoes, if the Hulk scares Pete even a tiny, little bit.”

Bruce would have balked at the money that Tony spent on footwear, but at this moment, the two men stepped right into the living room. They were greeted by the sight of Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Colonel Rhodes, and one brown haired teenager.  
Which might have been a normal enough scene, if said teenager wasn't sitting cross legged on the ceiling, clutching a bag of marshmallows to his chest and alternating between stuffing one into his mouth, and trying to convince both Steve and Bucky that it counted as a healthy snack, since it was blackberry flavored.

And even though Bruce wasn't 'that kind of Doctor' he couldn't help but clear his throat.

“Actually, since the manufacturers have most likely resorted to using artificial flavors and food coloring, you probably have about the same health benefits from those, as if you just ate the sugar straight out of the container.”

Everyone turned to look at the two newcomers, and as the adults all smiled and stepped forward to welcome their friend, a wide eyed Peter lost his grip on both the bag of marshmallows and the ceiling, and fell to the ground in a heap. Before anyone could start panicking though, he was back up and with a kind of chocked off, high pitched scream/gasp, pointed his finger right at Bruce, and exclaimed “Don't move!” Then he ran out of the room.

And while Bruce had mentally prepared himself for just such a reaction, it still left him feeling rather disheartened. A quick glance around at the other people in the room showed three very confused Avengers _(they had evidently not expected that reaction out of the boy)_ , one Air force Colonel who was trying very hard not to laugh, and a grinning Tony Stark.

“So, should I be getting you some water to wash your ridiculously expensive shoes down with?”

Bruce asked the billionaire with a dispassionate sigh, but Tony was completely unconcerned.

“Just wait for it.”

They didn't need to wait even a second more after Tony had spoken, as Peter came running back into the room, arms overloaded with books, stacks of papers, and what looked like posters, which he all dumped onto the nearby couch table. Then the teen was suddenly right in front of Bruce and vigorously shaking his hand.

“Oh my god, Dr Banner, this is such an honor. You are like my favorite scientist ever! _(Tony's indignant “Hey!” went ignored)_ I have read every one of your published papers and my friend may have hacked into your old university and found some of your papers that you didn’t publish, _and now I realize that that’s not something I should tell you probably, please don’t sue us,_ but can you please sign everything I own and **oh my god** I’m shaking your hand and I’m never gonna wash that again ever. And can I get a photo, oh my god Ned is gonna be sooooo jealous!”

All the while Peter had been holding his phone in his other hand, blindly dialed a number and waited for the other person to take the call. Then he pressed the phone excitedly to his ear.

“Ned! Ned! You will never believe who I'm talking to right now! Think of the greatest scientist you know!... Okay, the greatest scientist you know who is currently alive... EXACTLY! _(Once again, Tony's “It's like I'm invisible”, was ignored)_ Dude, I'm looking right at him. I'M SHAKING HIS HAND! … No, I'm not being a creepy fanboy... No, I have not yet let go of his hand...”

Rhodey laughed, Tony was jealously grumbling under his breath, Steve fondly shook his head, Bucky smirked, Natasha examined the impressive pile of things the teenager had brought for Bruce to sign, Peter continued shaking the scientists hand, while staring at him with awe-filled eyes and all but screaming into his phone, and Bruce... Bruce smiled.

 

_\- (back to the present) -  
_

 

It was one of the rare, lazy, late afternoons on a weekday, that found most of the Avengers hanging out on the newly built terrace behind the tower. The strangling hold that the high temperatures of summer had held over New York city for the last few days, was finally ebbing away and Peter had seized the opportunity to take Hope for an extended walk. _(Steve had declined Peter's invitation to tag along. Colonel, Bucky and him had risen early as ever, and already run a few miles)_  
He had also somehow managed to ensnare Bruce in a discussion about something that had gone over the collective heads of everyone around _(Tony was still stuck in a board meeting that Pepper had dragged him to)_ , and the dark haired scientist had seemingly unwittingly followed the teen and dog out of the tower.

The two super soldiers had curled up together in the porch swing, Bucky carefully keeping track of Arthur's progress, as the little raccoon tried scaling the garden table that held the snack food. Steve with a sketch pad in his lap, drawing the image of Eames the cockatoo, hopping around said table while chanting “Posh tosser, bloody wanker”, and occasionally dropping down a blueberry to Colonel, who was happily waving his tail at the treats.

Sam, for some reason, found his bird's antics endlessly funny, and was filming the whole thing with his phone.

Clint and Laura had spread a brightly colored blanket over the grass and were having a picnic with Nathaniel and Lila, while Natasha was showing Cooper some easy self-defense moves a few feet away.

When Hope's familiar barking and running feet were heard, the assembled group knew that Bruce and Peter had gotten back from their walk. The over eager Pitbull ran out on the terrace, greeting everyone in turn with happy licks and a wagging tail _(he jumped first into the laps of the two super soldiers, let himself be scratched behind the ears, then ran right at Sam, nearly forcing the man to lose the grip on his phone when he licked him right across the face, then launched his furry body onto the blanket with Laura, Clint, Lila and Nathaniel, and patiently waited until all had pet him at least once, and finally trotted over to Cooper and Natasha to join in on their play fight.)_

This had been expected.

What was not expected was watching Peter come walking out to the terrace, carrying a huge tortoise _(about 25 to 30 inches in length)_ , and grinning widely when setting the reptile down on the grass. Bruce was following close behind the teen, his face a curious mix of shell shocked and confused.

Peter straightened up from his crouch and addressed everyone, while Colonel and Arthur _(who was riding on the dogs back)_ , came over to examine the new, slowly moving animal.

“Everyone, meet Bruce's new friend, Speedy Gonzales!"

“She is a 33 year old Sulcata Tortoise. Sulcata Tortoises can live up to 70 years and above, and weigh up to 120 pounds. Speedy isn't that big yet, though. She did grow a bit too big for her previous owner, and the guy was too cheap to invest in a bigger terrarium, because she needs hot temperatures to stay healthy. She will be okay to roam freely during the summer, but we will have to turn one of the guest rooms into a heated enclosure for her when it gets colder.”

The still completely baffled looking Dr. Banner turned to face his friends and coworkers _(the Barton's and Natasha had come closer to inspect the newest addition to their home)._

“...I don't even know how that happened. … We were talking about the latest research on cross-species genetic transfers, and all of a sudden I'm standing in an animal shelter and signing adoption papers for a tortoise. … I didn't even know shelters had tortoises...”

Sam, Bucky and Steve, who had already been victims of Peter's crusade against a pet-less existence, held up their glasses in a silent salute to the doctor.  
Natasha proudly nodded at Peter's accomplishment, and he respectfully bowed to his Sensei.  
Eames had landed on Speedy's massive back, and was seemingly taunting Arthur from his perch.  
The little raccoon shot the bird a nasty look, and climbed up into Lila's embrace.  
Cooper and Clint both seemed fascinated with the size of the tortoise, while Hope jumped between the father and son to get back rubs.  
Nathaniel laughed happily as his mother helped him feed a banana to the reptile.

Speedy Gonzales brought honor to her species, by patiently tolerating the chaos all around her, and chomping down on the yellow fruit.

-

Bonus: The Hulk!

 

"Uff!"

Spiderman shook himself free of the last remaining dust particles from the pile of debris he had dug himself out of, only a few minutes ago. All around him were the webbed up enormous bodies of the mutated rats. Some of them were twitching against their spidery cocoon, trying to get out of their bindings. Peter had done his best not to kill any of them, knowing that the animals had been victims of the illegal experimentation of the deranged Professor Stollack. 

It wasn't everyday that a hoard of wild, three feet tall, rabid rats tried to take over Brooklyn. The whole team had been called in for some extreme pest control.

While Black Widow and Captain America had gone in search of the perpetrator behind this particular madness, Iron Man, Hulk, Falcon, Hawkeye, Thor, the Winter Soldier, Antman, the Wasp and Spiderman had taken to the streets and taken care of the mutated and very dangerous vermin. 

Peter really felt sorry for the rats. While they weren't exactly among his favorite animals, they weren't evil. No animal was. And they didn't deserve to be experimented on and used like this, for one madman's twisted plans. He really hoped they could be returned to their original forms, and not have to be mercy killed. 

/"Widow and me have taken the Professor and his underlings into custody. Everyone alright? Status report!"/ Came the Captain's voice over the comms that kept the team connected during battles.

/"I'm good, so is Feather-head."/ It was impossible to miss the smirk in Bucky's voice.

/"You won't be good for much longer if you keep it up with the nicknames, Frosty."/ As long as those two still argued, they were okay.

/"I'm fine, though Legolas might need to be checked for rabies. One of those things got a bite out of him."/ Peter would be way more worried, if Tony wasn't laughing as he said it.

/"My pants, guys, don't worry. No skin was breached. Mighty Mouse over there tore a fucking hole in my pants."/ Came Clint's answer.

/"His ass region, to be more specific. If anyone was wondering, Robin Hood is wearing Paw Patrol undies today."/

/"Look, Nathaniel likes the show, okay? How about we move things along?"/

/"Paw Patrol is cool. Call me when you watch it! I will bring Cassie!"/ Scott's joyful voice sounded.

/"Cassie only watches to keep you company, you know? By the way, Antman and I are both fine."/ Trust The Wasp to keep things under control.

/"I do not know this 'Paw Patrol', but I will gladly join you and your son for a viewing, if it is impressive enough for you to decorate yourself with."/ Fighting alongside the God of Thunder would never be not cool.

/"I'm okay, and I'm totally joining you for Paw Patrol. Got a bunch of the rats webbed up. Maybe Bruce can find a way to turn them back to normal. You know, once he has turned back to normal."/ Peter finally chimed in.

/"Speaking of, does anyone have eyes on the Hulk?"/ It was sadly impossible to equip the green guy with an earwig.

Spidey took a careful look around himself.

/"He was with me for most of the fight... Wait! I see him!"/

He had spotted the big guy a little ways away from his position, seemingly crouched over something. The part-time Avenger and full-time vigilante quickly swung his way to the Hulk.

/"Just... be careful, Spidey."/ Steve's cautious warning almost made Peter roll his eyes. He knew the team worried about his easy and unconcerned interactions with Hulk, and he couldn't really fault them. After all, the Hulk was the embodiment of Dr. Banner's uncontrolled anger, and was therefore, dangerous. But Peter's Spidey-sense never went off when he was around the big guy, or rather, it never went off because of the big guy, so Peter didn't worry. He knew though, that Tony was probably already on his way to them, just in case.

He landed beside the _hulking_ giant.

"Hey buddy! You okay? Something wrong?"

The Hulk looked at him, and then slowly turned, so that Peter was able to see what was before him. The teenaged vigilante paled behind the mask.

On the ground before them laid the remains of what must have been a carton box. One of the pieces was large enough to read the handwritten 'Free to a good home', scribbled on it. Some of the carton pieces were drenched in red. And tiny bones could be seen among them.

Hulk's grumbling voice thankfully pulled him away from the grizzly scene.

"The evil mice were eating them... Hulk was too late to save the others."

Then Hulk turned further, and revealed a small, softly mewling kitten in his palm. The giant, green hand, made the little kitten look even tinier than it probably was. And Peter's heart just melted.

"I'm really sorry, bud, but you managed to safe this one! That's great! You are a hero! Do you mind if I took it for a minute? Make sure it isn't hurt anywhere?"

The Hulk grunted his agreement, and with a gentleness few would ever associate with the big guy, handed the little kitten over. Neither of the two turned around when Iron Man landed just a couple of steps behind them.

 _"Hey there, big guy. Spidey. You both good? You know, because you_ might _want to let the team_ know _that you are both good. So that the team_ doesn't worry. _"_

Instead of answering his adoptive father, Peter addressed Hulk.

"She looks fine to me. But we might want to let a doctor check up on her. Just to make sure nothing is broken."

He placed the little kitten carefully back into his green friend's big hand, and the little fluff ball immediately curled up and started purring. Peter pat Hulk's shoulder in congratulation.

"She likes you!"

Iron Man had come closer.

_"Is that a cat?"_

Hulk smiled.

"Hulk likes her, too. She is tiny... Like Bug-boy. Hulk likes Bug-boy."

"You know, big guy, I don't even mind you calling me that. I like you, too."

_"No, seriously, where did the cat come from?"_

"Puny Banner is a doctor."

"Well, I was thinking more along the line of a veterinarian, but Bruce should be able to tell if anything was wrong with her. Especially with the equipment at the tower. And if all else fails, there is still Helen. She is the best doctor ever."

_"Okay, one, Bruce would throw in that he is 'not that kind of doctor', right about now. And two, what is the deal with the cat?"_

Hulk grunted.

"Hulk will go now. So that puny Banner can take care of her. Bug-boy tell puny Banner that Hulk is keeping her."

Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"Great! What do you want to name her?"

_"Am I invisible to you people? What the hell is the deal with the cat?"_

Hulk looked down at the purring kitten in his palm, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Little Smash."

Peter grinned.

"That's a great name!"

_"Seriously, am I invisible? Did I die without noticing and am roaming the streets as a ghost now? Were those rats magic? Is this a curse?"_

When the Hulk shrank back into his other half, Bruce found himself even more confused than he usually was after a transformation. Beside him, Peter, in his Spiderman suit, was trying to calm down a comically panicking Tony, who was still in his Iron Man armor, and apparently convinced that he had been turned into an astral projection of himself.

He was standing in the middle of a street in Brooklyn _(in only his thankfully very stretchy pants)_ , there were big, twitching web cocoons some feet away from them on the ground, and in his hands was a sleeping little kitten, purring up a storm.

Peter paused long enough from reassuring Tony that he was, indeed, both visible and audible, and definitely not a ghost, to quickly address the confused Bruce.

"That's Little Smash! She is Hulk's! He said to take good care of her! Oh, and she might need an x-ray."

Then he was back at pointedly **not** ignoring Tony.

Bruce looked down at the sleeping kitten in his hands and sighed.

Oh well,... at least she was cute.

* * *

* * *

 

tbc

Next up: Natasha, Clint, and the Bartons!


	5. Natasha, Clint and Laura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the last chapter of this fic! :-)  
> Hurray!  
> I have some ideas for future parts of this series, but please know that I am always open to prompts. If you have an interesting idea that you think would fit into this series, but have neither the time or desire to write yourself, feel free to share!
> 
> It's 10:42 in the morning where I am, I'm really curious to know at what time this shows up for others, what with the time difference and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope van Dyne is mentioned in this chapter. In order to avoid any confusion with Peter's dog, I refer to her by either her full name, or her hero name 'Wasp'.
> 
> I haven't really gone into detail about the ages of the Barton kids before. So I will do this now:  
> Here, in this universe that I have created for this and the previous fanfic series, which completely disregards the events and timeline of the canon MCU after Age of Ultron (and only partly Civil War), the ages of the Barton kids are as following: 
> 
> Cooper: 13 years old  
> Lila: 8 years old  
> Nathaniel: 3 years old
> 
> I have done some research (as I'm still unsure about some english terms), and it said that children from 12 to 36 month old are referred to as toddlers. So I will sometimes use that term to describe Nathaniel.  
> I have also researched a little about what typical 3 year olds should be capable of, development wise. So little Nathaniel will be mostly written around what I have read. If you have a sibling (or own child, niece/nephew, neighbor, etc) that was farther or slower in development than how I portray Nathaniel, please feel free to share your experiences.
> 
> Laura Barton didn't exactly have a job before, living so secluded with her and Clint's kids to keep them safe. I imagine that after the move to the tower and it's top notch security, and without the worry about their well being, she would want to get a job. Have something aside from her family, make friends in the new city and fulfill an ambition or something like that. So Laura, like May, has a job outside of the tower.

Natasha, Clint and Laura

 

 

 

"So, what are you gonna do with Mom and Dad?"

Peter stopped bouncing Nathaniel on his leg momentarily, to regard the oldest of the Barton siblings with a questioning look.

"What do you mean, Coop?"

The demanding cry of "Pete!" from the toddler on his lap, had him quickly resume the bumpy ride, and little Nathaniel laughed loudly.

Cooper rolled his eyes, while lightly throwing a tennis ball for Hope to chase after.

"The pets. You got everyone to adopt an animal, and now only Mom and Dad are left. Mom's been getting a little paranoid, to be honest."

He couldn't throw the ball too far, considering that the heavy rain was forcing everyone to remain indoors today, and they currently occupied the common floor's living room. While the Avengers had decided to do some team training, May and Laura were both out of the tower and at their respective jobs _(Laura had found employment at a local magazine as an up and coming editor)_ , and Pepper was busy with Stark Industries.

Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel had volunteered to keep an eye on the animals, and Peter had agreed to keep an eye on the younger kids.

While they didn't exactly go to great lengths to keep his identity a secret, the adults and Peter had made the unanimous decision not to tell the kids who Spiderman was underneath the mask.

Yet.

While the children of Hawkeye weren't strangers to life surrounded by superheroes, they also weren't used, and shouldn't be expected to, be the safe-keepers of someone's secret identity. They were kids, the oldest of them just 13. It wouldn't be fair to burden them with keeping this kind of secret. And Peter didn't feel ready to lift his mask for the masses just yet. Though he felt that he was getting there.

_(Also, the fact that Cooper was the biggest Spiderman fan ever, was something that Peter would forever, gleefully, hold over Clint's head. Lila liked Black Widow the most, which, yeah, fair. But she also said that Spiderman was her second favorite. Clint's face had been priceless.)_

"And Auntie Nat. She doesn't have a pet yet."

Lila added, from her place on the carpeted floor. She was currently leaning against Colonel, who had sat himself behind the girl's back and watched as she turned pages in the book she was reading. Little Smash and Arthur had curled up together on Lila's crossed legs and were sleeping soundly. Speedy Gonzales was making her slow rounds around the room, with Eames riding on top of her.

Then Nathaniel piped up as well.

"Cooper wants a doggy. Woof woof."

The thirteen year old blushed lightly, but then shrugged and accepted the ball Hope had brought back to him.

"Well, who doesn't? Dogs are awesome! I'm sure Dad would like a dog, too."

But Lila shook her head.

"No, Dad wants a Pony. A cute one. That lets me ride it."

Cooper rolled his eyes.

"The only one who wants a pony is you, Lila. Dad and I want a dog."

Eames chose that moment to abandon his trusty, though slow moving, steed, to fly over and land on Peter's head. To the great delight of Nathaniel, who clapped his hands wildly.

"I want a birdie. And a doggy. And a pony."

The cockatoo seemingly agreed with the toddler, if the way Eames was jumping up and down on Peter's head was any indication.

"Bloody donuts!"

At least they had managed to replace some of the bird's foul language.

Peter carefully reached up a hand to try to get the bird out of his hair _(literally)_.

"Guys, I hear you. And, I'm working on it. But you have to understand, this isn't gonna be as easy as it was with the rest. Now if we were just talking about your dad, we would have probably doubled the amount of animals that are living here right now. But your mom? She is End boss level. I need to grind and level up a bit more, before I can take her on. Might have to resort to some kind of co-op, get an additional player into my party. And Natasha? She is the optional, secret Mega boss on Expert level. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to get my hands on a cheat code for her."

As Lila softly giggled about Peter's gamer lingo, Cooper rolled his eyes _(though he was grinning, too)._

"You are such a dork. But hey, speaking of games, did you hear about that rumor that Sony is trying to get into contact with Spiderman, because they want to make a video game about him? How cool is that? It's gonna be the greatest game of all time!"

Finally having managed to grab Eames off his head, and dutifully lowering his hand so that Nathaniel could pet the mischievous cockatoo, Peter had to bite back a smirk. Oh, he knew all about the plans to make a Spiderman game. Sony's gaming department had gotten in contact with Stark Industries months ago, in hopes of Mr Stark hooking them up with the Webslinger to ask permission to use his likeness. Peter was beyond excited and Ned had almost fainted after hearing the news.

"Yeah. It's going to be totally epic!"

 

* * *

 

The usually bright lab had been darkened specifically for the strategic planning session that Peter had ~~guilt tripped~~ **invited** Ned and MJ for.

"Gentleman, and gentlewoman."

Peter began, as he slowly walked up and down in front of the large, projected picture of non other than Natasha Romanoff. In his hand was a small laser pointer, that he trained right at the projection.

"This is our target.  
Name: Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow, aka Natalie Portman, aka Natalia Alianovna, aka a lot of other aliases that quite frankly would have taken too long to list, so we will go forth calling her Tasha. No, wait, only I call her Tasha. Let's go with Black Widow or Natasha.  
Age: Unknown. Also, I have been reliably informed that you don't ask a woman that.  
Place of birth: Unknown.  
Species: Human. ... Probably... 98% sure.  
Eye color: Green, as far as anyone knows.  
Hair color: Red. Currently. Her natural hair color is and forever shall remain, unknown.  
Occupation: being a certified BAMF.  
Hobbies include, but are not limited to: beating up Clint during training, beating up Sam during training, beating up Scott during training, beating up Tony outside of training - because he is too chicken to get into the ring with her, fighting Wasp to a draw, flirting with Bruce while sparring with Steve and Bucky during training, and stealing all of Clint's fuzzy clothes. Of which he has a surprising amount.  
On a side note: She would totally out-spy James Bond and completely out-round-house-kick Chuck Norris.  
Favorite authors are:-"

Then he quickly dodged the pencil MJ threw at him.

"Get to the point, dork!"

He quickly righted himself.

"Pushy... Okay. So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to devise a plan that will end up with the target's adoption of an adorable animal. Any questions?"

Ned raised his hand.

"What about Mrs Barton?"

Peter folded his hands behind his back and nodded decisively.

"Another agent has been assigned with that task. I'm positive that things will go smoothly. Next."

MJ's hand was raised lazily, right alongside her eyebrow.

"How can you be sure that the Black Widow isn't watching or otherwise monitoring us right now, and is wholly aware that you are planning to trick her?"

Peter shot her a look like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck, and then threw his hands up in a panic.

"Abort mission! ABORT MISSION! Friday! Erase all the evidence! Everyone, RETREAT!"

Then the three hastily ran out of the lab.

 

* * *

 

It was another beautiful summer Sunday, the animals and her children were playing on the grassy terrace, while Laura was soaking up the fresh air _(as fresh as the air in the city ever got)_ , and enjoying a fruity drink on the garden bench. The British government had asked for help from the Avengers, because as it turned out, New York was not the only city that harbored insane scientists and their failed, and dangerous, experiments. Spiderman had accompanied the team, and Laura had told her kids when they asked where Peter was, that the older teen was out with Ned and Michelle.  
The disappointment her answer had garnered had been readily apparent on all three of her children's faces.

"Mind if we join you?"

May's question abruptly brought Laura out of her thoughts, and she quickly scooted a bit to the right, to make room for the other woman on the bench. Pepper took a seat in the lounge chair to her other side.

"What were you thinking about so deeply there, Laura? Is there a problem at your new job?"

She shook her head at Pepper's question.

"No, no. the magazine is great. I think I actually love my coworkers. You know, it feels really good to work again. The farm had its charm, but ... It's just good to be here with all of you."

The other women smiled at her.

"We are glad you are here with us, too. Now we just need to convince May to move in permanently, and we are set."

The acting CEO of S.I. shot her friend a teasing look, to which May replied with a little chuckle.

"I honestly don't know who would be more heartbroken at this point, if we moved back to our house. Peter, Tony, or the rest of the Avengers."

"Don't forget the pets." Pepper added.

"Or my kids. Honestly, sometimes I feel bad about all the times he ends up looking after them, so that Clint and I can have a night out."

May shook her head.

"No need to worry. He likes spending time with them. And he always gets a kick out of how much of a Spiderman fan Cooper is."

Pepper laughed lightly.

"How do you think he is going to react when he finds out that Peter is Spiderman?"

A sad frown marred Laura's features.

"That's actually something I'm afraid of."

The other two looked at her questioningly.

"Afraid of? Why?"

Laura sighed.

"It's just... They already have a superhero father, and superhero honorary uncles, and a superhero aunt. And Cooper is old enough by now to understand that the Avengers face dangerous situations. And Lila has seen the bandages and scars, no matter how much Clint tries to keep the more serious injuries hidden from the kids. Nathaniel is still too young to realize that there might come a day, when his father, or someone else he has grown to love, won't come back home from a mission.  
I... I could never ask Clint to give it up. Hawkeye, what he does with the Avengers, that's a part of who _he is_. And super powered or not, I think that the others need him. But there are times when Lila has trouble sleeping, because she is so worried that the Avengers will fight some monster that will hurt them. And Cooper has been getting more and more nervous, every time Clint and the others gear up and go fight the battles only they can. When they got the assemble call this morning, he was relieved to hear that Spiderman would be going with them. _'Don't worry, mom. Spidey will watch their backs.'_  
How do I explain to him, when the time comes, that Spiderman is just another person he regards as family, and might lose one day?"

She stopped for a minute to wipe a tear away from her eye.

"How do you two deal with it? With this,... this fear, that Peter or Tony could get badly hurt, or worse, every time they suit up?"

The previously joyous mood had turned somber, and Pepper and May breathed deeply as they thought about the answer to that question.

"I would like to say that I'm used to it, but I guess it doesn't matter how many years go by, the unease when Tony and the others leave, and the overwhelming relief when they all come back, that's probably never going to go away. And ever since Peter has come into our lives, all that just doubled."

May nodded.

"I was horrified when I found out Peter was Spiderman. That was my baby boy, swinging himself into one dangerous situation after another.  
I cried and screamed and yelled at him. ' _This isn't your responsibility.' 'This is too dangerous.'_ It went on for hours. Him trying to convince me that he needed to do this, and me trying to convince him that just because he has these powers, shouldn't mean that he has to endanger himself. _It doesn't._  
At one point I brought up Ben. How he wouldn't have wanted this for Peter, and how I couldn't bear losing him, too. And then he, very reluctantly, agreed to put a halt to his hero activities, for at least until he was legally an adult. The next morning I could see that he hadn't slept well, probably not at all. The TV was running in the background, and the news station reported a fire in an apartment building the night before. Some families had gotten trapped on the higher floors and hadn't made it out. Peter hyperventilated. He got a freaking panic attack, because he had not been out as Spiderman the night before, and people had died."

Laura interrupted.

"But that wasn't his fault. Even if he had been out that night, there is no guarantee it would have been at the time the fire started, or that he would have been anywhere near it."

"I know. And after a while, I managed to make Peter believe that as well. But the point remained. Bad things happen almost every day, and if Peter doesn't get the chance to get out there, and help someone who needs it, its _him_ who ends up hurting. He is just like his uncle. Ben was never able to just sit back and let things happen, either. Then Peter called Tony to come over, and after I yelled at him for a half hour, he explained all the training and protocols in Peter's suit to me. Knowing that Peter has as much protection and help as possible, helped a little, but I still worry every time he goes out. And not just because of all the things that might still happen to him, but also because of all the things that _already_ have happened."

Laura frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Peter has always been prone to anxiety, that panic attack back then didn't come out of the blue. Having guns pointed at him as Spiderman is _scary_ , no matter how capable he is of avoiding the bullets. He has jumped into buildings on fire, and seen the burned bodies of those he was too late to pull out. He has woken up from nightmares and breathed his way out of anxiety and panic attacks more than once."

Pepper nodded.

"Tony has probably more trauma packed away in his mind than he will ever willingly admit to. After the alien invasion he hardly slept, and when he did, his nightmares were often so severe, that he would subconsciously summon one of his suits. When he quit drinking, he simply just replaced one vice with another, and started overworking himself more than ever before."

Laura decided to add her own experiences.

"When Clint and I first started dating, he was a big fan of suppressing everything bad that ever happened to him. After bad missions, he would make up some excuse why he couldn't come over, because he didn't want me to see him break down. When things got more serious between us, I begged him to open up to me. To let me help him with his demons. He refused at first, and it nearly broke us. Then I got pregnant with Cooper, we married, and things started slowly changing for the better. Clint let me help him carry his burdens, we shared all our fears with each other. Instead of hiding himself away after something traumatic had happened, he would come home to us, hold me and the kids, and watch a silly movie together.  
There are still... wounds... that will never fully heal, but at least they don't hurt him like they used to anymore."

May gave the woman next to her an affectionate side hug.

"You know, things have been much better for Peter, ever since he got Hope."

"Oh?"

It was Pepper who answered.

"He has definitely been sleeping better, Friday told me that Hope curls up to him, whenever Pete has a nightmare. And not to say that Peter has ever been a particularly sad or angry teen, but his mood seems to have improved overall with Hope around."

"It's like he is less anxious, more carefree than he was before. He even eats better."

"Which in turn has made Tony _actually_ eat, instead of just chugging coffee down his throat. He is calmer these days, too. It always felt like he was racing against time, to finish the next mission, to start the next project. Improve this suit, and then the next, and then the next. 36 hour binges in the lab were closer to the norm than I'm comfortable with. Now he seeks out one of the team to bounce ideas off, or just talk about anything. He guards his lab time with Peter jealously, and they will just work on whatever. He slips the animals little treats when he thinks no one is watching, and just two days ago, he spend about 40 minutes giving Hope belly scratches."

May grinned.

"I saw that. And then Peter came into the room and just cuddled himself into the pile. I have photos. But Laura, to get back to the point, this is probably always going to be scary. Cooper and Lila, and Nathaniel when he is older, they will always worry about their father and the other, just like you and Pepper and I do. There is no easy way around this, but there _are_ things that can be done to lighten the weight of that fear."

The other woman looked at both Pepper and May contemplatively, then let her gaze swivel over to her children, who had sat in a circle with Colonel, Hope and Arthur, and were watching with bated breath as Little Smash tried her hand at stalking up to Eames, who was once again, sitting on Speedy Gonzales.

"You know, there are a lot of articles about the positive influences a pet can have on a child... And there are so many people who have an emotional support animal... The pets here certainly seem to have a therapeutic effect on everyone..."

As Laura continued making up her mind, May and Pepper caught each others eyes above her head, and smiled.

 

* * *

 

They had made exactly 43 and a half plans on how to best get the red haired definition of bamf into the shelter to get a pet for herself. 16 of those had been discarded right off the bat. Of the remaining, 8 had been deemed to have possibly traumatic consequences, and therefore unsafe. 4 had elements that were in direct violation of the law, and another 10 were, frankly, wishful thinking. 2 involved the summoning of a supernatural being, and another three might have an accidental effect on the time-space continuum.

Which left Peter with half of a plan. And the reason it was only half of a plan, was because it was so hopelessly unimaginative at it's very core, that they had simply stopped discussing it any further.

But after two days of brainstorming with Ned and MJ, this was all he had.

So Peter squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, went into the kitchen, and sat down across from Natasha at the table.

Here goes nothing.

The most horrible plan there was.

No smoke and mirrors. Peter was about to make the most daring move in the art of trickery and manipulation there was.

"Do you want a pet?"

The straight up truth.

Natasha looked at him for a full 5.5 of the most nerve wrecking seconds of his life, then took a sip from her cup, and made a contemplative noise.

"I will think about it."

 

* * *

 

 

Clint understood the need for regular psych evaluations, and personal therapy sessions. Every active Shield agent, as well as all the Avengers and Peter, had them. And as far as mandatory necessities went, these at least were helpful. But they were damn well exhausting. And not even _physically_ , that at least he could deal with. Who would have thought that mental health was such high maintenance?

Oh well, he was just glad to be back at the tower. As he rode the elevator to the upper common floor _(because ever since Stark had added a terrace to the tower, there was an upper common floor, and a ground level common floor for the Avengers use)_ , he went through a mental list of what he wanted to do. Since it was nearing evening, and the weather wasn't too great, nobody had been out on the terrace. It was summer break, so the kids didn't have any homework that needed checking upon _(though to be honest, Cooper had started to bother Peter for help with math and the like, something that Clint really was grateful for. He had always hated math.)_ , and his beautiful wife had a half day today at the magazine. So he planned to spend some quality time with his family and friends, maybe get Peter's help to ~~bully~~ convince Tony to order from that Thai place again, and then watch a few more episodes of Paw Patrol with Nathaniel and whoever else wanted to join them. _(And play with the pets. He had already taught Colonel to hide Sam and Bucky's shoes, whenever one of them left those lying around on the common floor. Last time the dog had buried them all over the terrace. Watching the two men dig around for their missing foot wear had been hilarious.)_

Strolling along the hallway to the living room, he was so caught up in planning what kind of shenanigans he could train Eames to do, he almost didn't notice Natasha striding right up to him.

While this wasn't anything unusual, his long time friend and partner had gotten herself two very unique,... _accessories_.

Two small, long-bodied, _living_ accessories. With small black eyes and twitching whiskers and... He still couldn't stop staring when Natasha came to a stop right before him.

"I have decided to adopt a pet."

Yeah, he could see that.

"A ferret, to be more specific."

He nodded mutely.

"Ferrets are social group animals, and are not supposed to be held alone. So this one is yours."

Then she thrust the lighter colored one right at Clint's chest, and he cradled it automatically.

"This is Bonnie. Mine is Clyde. Their cage is in my bedroom. Great treats for ferrets are scrambled eggs, cooked or raw chicken, beef, or lamb. It is fine to feed them meat regularly, but dry food is an important part of a their diet as well, because it helps clean their teeth. Avoid foods that are high in complex carbohydrates, such as fruits, vegetables, dairy, or anything containing sugar. _Never_ let them get into Peter's snack stash. They are strictly carnivorous. I'm heading out for a bit, so take Clyde, too."

Just as before, Natasha unceremoniously handed over the other ferret to the still dumbstruck archer, _(Bonnie had since climbed onto his shoulder)_ , and then without another word, walked around her friend and into the elevator. Just before the doors closed on her, Clint's brain exited blue-screen mode and started working again.

"No, Nat, wait! Laura will kill me!"

But all he got from her was a mocking smirk, before the elevator closed and began it's descent.

He carefully lifted Clyde up to eye level.

"Your owner is an evil sadist, you know that?"

The ferret simply wiggled his way out of the hold, climbed up his arm, and settled on his other shoulder. Clint sighed.

"Oh well. Seems I have a pet now."

There was no hiding the big grin he wore, though.

He quickly switched gears, and started thinking about the ways he could talk Laura into accepting their new roles as ferret parents, while continuing on his way to the living room, Bonnie and Clyde peacefully riding on his shoulders.

Entering the room brought with it the second surprise of the day, as he was almost mauled by a bear.

"Whoa!"

He barely kept his balance as the dark coated beast jumped up at him, braced it's big paws against his chest, opened it's massive maw, and licked him right across the face.

"Fluffy! No jumping on people! Come on, come here girl!"

'Fluffy' followed his daughters comment, and Clint watched in amazement as the bear, _that was actually a dog_ , trotted over to where Lila and Cooper were sitting on the floor, and plopped her massive, _though undeniably fluffy_ , body between his kids.

He opened his mouth to ask who Peter had managed to talk into adopting this one, when Laura stepped out of the kitchen, grinning brightly and kissing him on his cheek.

"Hey honey. I see Natasha already introduced you to Bonnie and Clyde. How was your appointment? Also, we have a dog now."

His wife had often left him speechless, but never quite like this. Lila piped up from where she had almost draped herself over the dog.

"She is almost as big as a pony, Daddy!"

Yeah, he could see that. Cooper took over the explanation.

"Fluffy is a Newfoundland dog. Her previous owner gave her up because she grew too big for their apartment. Fluffy is only about five and a half years old, but the guy at the shelter said it's not uncommon for her breed to grow as old as 15 years. Isn't that awesome, Dad?"

Before he could answer, Peter came into the room, Nathaniel on his shoulders, making what could possibly pass for plane noises, if the plane in question was severely broken. Nathaniel seemed to like it, though. Hope came running in after the two, and launched himself playfully at Fluffy. The two dogs and kids melted into one big pile of fur and limbs.

"Hi Clint!"

"Hi Daddy! Guess what we got!"

The archer pretended to think hard about his son's question.

"A... new haircut?"

The little boy laughed and clapped his hands.

"NO! A FLUFFY!"

Peter smiled and bend his head back slightly to look at the kid.

"Fluffy is her name, buddy. She is a dog."

"A big dog."

The teen nodded.

"The biggest."

Clint grabbed both Bonnie and Clyde from his shoulders and set them down on the floor. They immediately ran to where the kids and dogs had disentangled themselves from each other, and climbed onto Fluffy's back.

"You two be careful now, you are the size of her poop."

The comment turned out to be the height of comedy for the toddler, who buried his laughing face into Peter's hair with a shriek.

Laura leaned into his side, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

"The others should be on their way, Pepper ordered Thai for everyone. And Nathaniel and Peter have been waiting for you to start a Paw Patrol marathon."

He gathered his wife in his arms and kissed her softly.

"I love you."

 

* * *

 

 

A few days later, Peter had corralled everyone into the living room to watch the promotion video that he, Ned and MJ had cut together for the shelter.  
Steve and Bucky, as well as Laura and Clint, sat closely together on two of the love seats.  
Natasha had made herself comfortable leaning against Bruce, and petting Little Smash, who had curled up on her belly.  
Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel had lied down with Hope, Colonel and Fluffy on the floor.  
Sam, with Eames on his shoulder, had gleefully stretched himself out on the lounge.  
Arthur, Bonnie and Clyde had bonded into quite the trio of troublemakers, and piled up together on Speedy Gonzales large back.  
Last but not least, Pepper, Tony, Peter, Ned, MJ and May were sitting together on the big couch.

Peter was nervous.

"Okay. Just remember, if you don't like something, we can still edit it. Doc Strange has already given his okay to use the footage with him and Cloakie in it. We are open to criticism. Or creative input. Or whatev-"

MJ quickly reached around Ned and swatted Peter on the shoulder.

"Just start the video, loser."

Peter started the video.

***The video started with a full on view of the 'A Heart Has Four Paws' shelter, then a voice over preluded the clip of Steve running full speed towards it.**

"Approximately 6.5 million animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year."

***The video changed to show Sam entering through the doors, and then changed again to Bucky also stepping foot into the shelter.**

"Each year, approximately 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized."

***Next was an image of a rather ruffled looking Stephen Strange, standing in the shelter's entrance, with his magical, flying cloak hovering nearby. Then the view changed to Bruce, a very peculiar look on his face, as he stared down the huge tortoise before him.**

"Only 1 out of every 10 dogs born will find a permanent home.

***The next scene showed Natasha carefully examining two ferrets in their cage.**

"The top 10 reasons people say that they were surrendering an animal, are: Moving to another home, the Landlord not allowing pets, having too many animals in the household, the cost of pet maintenance, inadequate facilities, having no time for the pet, the pet getting sick, no longer being able or wanting to take care of the pet, allergies, and the animal not getting along with other pets.

***The tone of the visuals changed suddenly, when Steve was shown playing catch with Colonel.**

"Animal shelters and rescue groups are brimming with happy, healthy pets just waiting for someone to take them home."

***Sam was laughing exuberantly, as he watched Eames jump around the table and head-bang his feathery crown to the beat of the music.**

"Not only do animals give you unconditional love, but they have been shown to be psychologically, emotionally and physically beneficial to their companions. "

***The smile was small, but heartfelt, as Bucky watched Arthur take his first, shaky steps with his new prosthetic leg.**

"Caring for a pet can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment and lessen feelings of loneliness."

***Bruce was relaxed, sitting back in the overstuffed chair, a thick book in his lap, while next to his outstretched legs, Speedy Gonzales was munching away on a salad.**

"Overburdened shelters take in millions of stray, abused and lost animals every year, and by adopting an animal, you’re making room for others."

***Stephen fed Hedwig a treat in thanks, when the owl dropped a pen for him on the table he sat at.**

"Not only are you giving more animals a second chance, but the cost of your adoption goes directly towards helping those shelters better care for the animals they take in!"

***Tony bent down, grinning wide, as he scratched Hope behind the ears, who was clearly loving the attention.**

"Adopting an animal will award you with a loyal, fun and devoted friend, that will love you for the rest of their lives."

***Natasha and Clint were running along with Bonnie and Clyde, who were apparently racing each other, while cheering on their ferret.**

"Adopting an animal can be the greatest decision of your live, which is why it can't be a decision you make lightly."

***A fully suited up Spiderman sat cross-legged beside Fluffy, the huge dog having laid down for the hero to easier run his fingers through her soft fur. Then Spidey addressed the camera directly.**

"Adopting an animal brings with it the responsibility to love, respect, and care for that animal. Having a pet is a big, long-term commitment, so be sure you are ready for that. Every animal is unique, and every species has different needs. You will need to do your research, to make sure you know what you are getting into. A pet will take up some of your time, money, and even patience. But they will give their everything in return. So if you are looking for a new best friend, and if you can give them the home and care they deserve, then they are possibly already waiting for you in your local animal shelter."

***Fluffy let out a mighty 'woof', and wagged her tail as Spidey scratched her head. The 'A Heart Has Four Paws' shelter was once again displayed, with a number of contacts of other shelters all over New York. Then the video ended.**

Peter, Ned and MJ all looked at the other people around them, in various degrees of nervousness. Then Tony threw his arm around Peter's shoulders and squeezed tightly, May hugged both MJ and Ned, Pepper had tears in her eyes, and the rest started clapping. 

"I'm proud of you kid."

"Thanks Dad."

 

* * *

* * *

 

The End

 

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, LEFT KUDOS, AND BOOKMARKED THIS STORY! YOU HAVE ALL BEEN GREAT AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE LAST CHAPTER AS WELL!

 

Sidenote: Have you ever, accidentally, conditioned yourself in a way? Let me explain this: I usually write stuff down on paper first. I don't know why, but I seem to be better able to get a story to work, if I first write it down 'old-style'. That's not the conditioning part, however. See, every time I was ready to start typing things up, I just happened to be at work. I work in a small tea shop, we are pretty much dead during the summer - not a lot of customers when it's hot outside - so there was no problem using the computer there and typing up what I had written. This happened so often, that suddenly I feel unable to write up the story, unless I am at work.... So, yeah, I seem to have somehow conditioned myself to only be able to write up fanfiction when I'm at work. *sigh* I need to work on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think Clint and Laura would want their kids to be on national television, so they aren't in the shelter's promo video. (Just like May, Peter, Pepper, Wong, and Laura aren't in the video, as the appeal of the theme is to show known heroes interacting with and adopting the animals.) And the reason Spidey was seen with Fluffy instead of Hope, is because Peter wanted to avoid any suspicion about people linking Spiderman with Peter's dog, and therefore Peter.


End file.
